Hi Kate. I think Flipper is onto something. He's absolutely right that it's your decision and yours alone to make. But may I offer three things to consider?
(1) If you go back to meetings, even just few, or even just to give a little comfort and support to a friend, it could set you back emotionally and psychologically. Can you risk that at this point?
(2) It might send the wrong message to your precious children. It might seem to say that you're not really sure about the Society and your decision to leave. It could be confusing to them, especially your son, and undermine all you've done to show them it's a mind-controlling cult masquerading as the "true religion." If word does get back to your ex, you can be sure he'll twist the circumstances and use it to undermine and discredit you personally.
(3) If you and your friend sit together at the meeting, it's entirely possible that you both will be counseled that associating with a disfellowshipped person, even if you're disfellowshipped yourself, is "bad association" and will hinder (if not prevent) your being considered for reinstatement. Ridiculous and petty, but true. If your friend is serious about being reinstated, this could ruin your friendship. She may choose to shun you in order to appear more righteous and repentant to the Elders™. It has happened before, believe me.
Several have suggested that you meet with her in a casual setting away from the Kingdom Hall. I think that's a great idea. You'll both feel freer to express what you're really thinking, and be able to visit and talk unconstrained by the fear that candid comments might come back to haunt you.
Whatever you decide, good luck to you. And congratulations on reestablishing contact with your friend.
